USE THIS FORM FOR...

  1. Customer and client inquiries, but refer to my FAQ page, sizing charts, and/or Refunds & Returns pages first.

  2. Brand deal proposals
    • Read my origin story and watch my videos to determine whether I'm a good fit for your brand (e.g., I haven't already roasted you or your client); don't just look at my channel stats.
    • If your pitch is poorly-written or generic, then I'll flag it as spam.

  3. Interview requests
    • Check my press kit for an overview of my brand and operation.
    • If I've never heard of your channel, podcast, etc., then I'm not interested.

PLAY IN TRAFFIC IF YOU HAVE...

  1. Multi-channel network offers: YouTube takes 50% of my ad revenue, so I don't need more grubby hands on my money.

  2. Requests for free assistance unrelated to an order
      • If you want weight training advice, then pay dues or remain weak.
      • Advice on YouTube growth or legal matters comes at a cost that we can negotiate.
      • I won't help you get in touch with one of my acquaintances for a business opportunity unless I get a finder's fee.

  3. Insults and threats: If I triggered you enough to rage at me, then I already beat you.